World of Sequester WarCraft

Homebrew* Eric in his “Young Guns” dungeon, plays World of Sequester WarCraft©

RICHMOND VA — Ex-House Majority Prevaricator Eric Cantor (Repug-Va.) complained about “the government” paying old people to play video games, Tuesday.  In a harshly worded statement,  Cantor lambasted the National Science Foundation for spending “$1.2 million paying seniors to play ‘World of Warcraft’ to study the impact it had on their brain.”

Dr. Jason Allaire, one of the study’s principal investigators, defended the NSF grant, saying he and his colleagues received the money to try and determine the specific mechanisms by which video games improve cognitive ability in older Americans, and subsequently improve their lives.  The larger objective is to use the results to create a video game designed to improve many aspects of older adults’ cognitive function.  The study is working in collaboration with Georgia Tech.

Apparently there actually was a project that looked at the effects of “World of Warcraft” on older adults’ cognition, but it was funded by North Carolina State University.  Yet Cantor can’t— or won’t— make obvious factual distinctions that would invalidate his deceptive reasoning;  he would rather exploit the knee-jerk reaction of the ignorant and uniformed to incite poutrage against “the government.”

Federal Government spends $1.2 million paying people to play World of Warcraft video games. Instead of raising taxes, let’s #CutWaste

— Eric Cantor (@GOPLeader) February 20, 2013

Allaire said, “We did get $1.2 million to determine why video games improve certain aspects of cognitive function, but we did not get it to have people play World of Warcraft.”

A National Science Foundation spokesman said Dr. Allaire’s grant was awarded to foster fundamental research that would be useful in helping older people maintain their autonomy.  Researchers in the field took a look at this and determined that the research should be pursued.  But what do they know that duplicitous politicians don’t.

When presented with the reasons for the research by the people who actually work on it, Cantor began to dance.

“The President of the United States said he was going to have to turn criminals loose on the street,” Cantor said through spokesman Rory Cooper. “He has created a false choice between raising taxes or near-apocalyptic conditions. In reality, we need to make choices on how we spend taxpayers’ hard earned dollars. While some of these programs may even have some merit to some people, [old fuckers without much time to live] should they be saved before preventing the drastic scenario the President painted yesterday?”

There’s a very good reason a near-record two-thirds majority of Americans disapprove of Republican leaders like Homebrew Eric.  The tissue of lies Republican leaders traditionally used to obfuscate their true intentions on behalf of America’s Corporate Overlords, has become increasing transparent under the light of increasing scrutiny by Americans, and this has accelerated its decay into meaningless political babble;  and this will eventually lead to the end of their careers in Congress.

So play on, Homebrew.  You, and all the rest of the duplicitous weasels in your Young Guns Dungeon are getting closer and closer to your parental control limit.

* Strange to report, “Homebrew” is a slang euphemism for “Jewish Wigger” found in the Urban Dictionary