McCain Announces New Face

McCain with Lieberman and Graham, in sympathy makeup. (click)

WASHINGTON — GOP nominee John Sidney McCain appeared on the steps of the Congressional Office Building today in clown-face makeup, and sporting a new tattoo on his forehead, which reads, “POW.” The Republican candidate for president said it reminds people that he has “returned with honor” from his imprisonment some forty years ago, and that he is still reluctant to talk about it.

Asked by reporters at the scene if that sentiment might be somehow blurred by the large buttons on his suit coat which read, “ASK ME ABOUT MY POW,” the senator became visibly annoyed and said only, “Please. . . please.”

Flanked by chief toadies Joe Lieberman and Lindsay Graham, who also wore clown-face to commemorate and honor McCain’s bold new tattoo/makeup scheme, McCain stated that his “credentials as a Vietnam era prisoner of war, in conjunction with his bold gesture towards the hapless poor, [bums?] would go along way towards negating his image with some Americans as a wealthy, angry, senile old curmudgeon. “I’m not the first POW underdog to realize that looking the part is half the battle. Drill now! Drill now, my friends!” No one had any fucking idea what he meant by that.

The attending toads took turns tonguing the microphone after McCain spoke, telling no one in particular that their “voluntary” appearance in clown face demonstrated the suckass solid solidarity of the corporate Overlords with their lackey underlings, and praised Senator McCain as a president “. . .of the people, buy by the people, and like the people.”