LIAR Magazine lurched into the motherlode of all liars with the election of #FakePresident Trump and his slowly accumulating disintegrating staff of cabinet level fudgebutts. And they’re apparently already bored with putting T-rump on their cover every stinking month, as someone remembered that Kellyanne Conway, counselor to the #FakePresident, lies just as much and a lot more cleverly than her cheeto daddy does.
But first, what the hell is up with the sugar skull makeup? I know, who can’t see the rapid soul-sucking collapse of Conway’s face— but why make yourself a walking talking joke just to get noticed at cabinet meetings.
I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was that made me recoil when I first listened to her; there was some kind of speech impediment going on, even kinda similar to Sean Spicer’s impediment— then I finally heard it: she sounds like a fourth-grader with the gift of diarrhea mouth.
You will be feeling exhausted after taking in even a part of the verbal landslide of effluvia which flows effortlessly past her incredibly white vampire teeth:
“I do think you’re cherry-picking some appointments in that we’ve got-we’ve even been lauded by some of his naysayers and detractors as having put together HE not we, HE’s put together an amazing cabinet of very qualified men and women people who have done great things in the public and private sector and who are willing to share those experiences in the cabinet, and I would just say you know eight years ago at this time, I certainly, I don’t know about other people but weren’t critical of the cabinet that was in formation because you want the new president um, whoever the occupant is to be able to take his time maybe one day her time, to form that cabinet in a way that helps, will help to execute on their agenda on their vision for the world and for the nation’s economy and, those who at least are giving the president a wide, president elect excuse me a wide berth and the deep breath to do that, I think will be very impressed with who he’s put there in some of these different positions.”
Lisa Feldsher
We used to think she was a maniacal genius, but wished we had her on our team. Now, we just think she’s maniacal. She could however regain some of our respect if she were to quit the verbal gymnastics and simply speak the truth – but then she’d be out of a job.
And for that, we’d thank you, Kellyanne, and God.
