George W. Bush Liebrary Update: Fund Drive Kills

Original Bush Liebrary sculpture garden. Click it; click it good.

May 5, 2009

DALLAS [C.U. News]  An urgent fund raising letter sent to current and prospective donors to the George W. Bush Presidential Liebrary has met with an overwhelming response, yielding over $100 million since the Bush Administration left office.

“Dear Donor,” the letter begins. “No doubt you are aware of the non-stop media coverage afforded to the stab-in-the-back decision by the Obama Administration to betray confidential legal discussions held during Dear Leader‘s heroic attempt to protect the country after the attacks of 9/11.

“This blatantly political maneuver has caused us to revise our architectural plans, even to the extent of optioning additional land to accommodate the expanded the size of The Library. Now that the details of the Bush Administration’s enhanced interrogation program are emerging, we find it necessary to expand our original sculpture garden and add an entire new wing to the building’s original design.”

Adding to the urgency was last week’s US Supreme Court’s Jeppesen decision striking down a presumed state’s secret privilege (also supported by the Obama Administration) that would have prevented civil court cases and their evidentiary discovery procedures from revealing further Bush Administration atrocities.

The letter explained that a new alcove (with expanded water drainage capacity for live enhanced interrogation demonstrations) had to be added; as well as a large cupola to accommodate a custom engineered carousel to spin hitherto unpublished revelations like the one reported yesterday in the NY Times: Interrogation Debate Sharply Divided Bush White House.

The letter concludes: “As staunch supporter’s of Forty Three‘s legacy, we have complete confidence that you will rise to the challenge, guaranteeing his place in the pantheon of exceptional US presidents, if not the most brilliant of all time.”

It is signed by Dick Cheney, David Addington, Donald Rumsfeld, Doug Feith, Jay Bybee, John Yoo, Steven Bradbury, Alberto Gonzalez, Karl Rove, Ari Fleischer, Condi Rice, and George Tenet.