POLITICS Archives - Page 14 of 118

Welcome To The United States

Do you have a communicable disease? Physical or mental disorder? Are you a drug abuser or addict? Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an offense or crime involving moral turpitude, or a violation related to a controlled substance, or ever been arrested or convicted for two or more offenses for which the aggregate sentence to confinement was five years or more? Have you ever been a controlled substance trafficker? Are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities? Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage? Or terrorist activities? Or genocide? Or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?

Rainer Römer: Ladies and gentlemen, here he goes, Peter Rundel, he seems to be disgusted. Whatever. Ridero ridera! Heute fängt die Fastnacht aa’ Ha ha ha! LAUGH NOW! (HA HA HA HA HA!) Be quiet! Von seiner Werkbank zu uns heute Abend hergekommen ist unser Hermann Kretzschmar wolle mer’n reinlasse? Laugh now! (HA HA HA HA HA!)

Welcome to the United States!

This form must be completed by every nonimmigrant visitor not in possession of a visitor’s visa.

Type or print legibly in pen in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. USE ENGLISH.

Item 7—If you are entering the United States by land, enter LAND in this space. (LAND!) If you are entering the United States by ship, enter, unh-unh, SEA in this space.

Do any of the following apply to you? (Answer Yes or No)

(No! No! Yes! No! Yes! No!)

A. Do you have a communicable disease; (COUGH NOW! Coughs . . . ) physical or mental disorder; or are you a drug abuser or addict?

Tell me, Bill, Yes or No. (No) Louder. (No!)

B. Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an offense or crime involving moral turpitude or a violation related to a controlled substance; or ever been arrested or convicted for two or more offenses for which the aggregate sentence to confinement was five years or more?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes! Yes, sir! Yes! No! No! No!)

Or been a controlled substance trafficker; or are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes or No) Thank you!

C. Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage; or terrorist activities; or genocide; or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes)

Thank you very much! And welcome to the United States!

Original photograph from Chaplin’s 1917 film, The Immigrant:

FAILURE “R” US

The Republican party, some with paper bags over their heads in silent protest, seemed genuinely unaware that the banner they placed behind themselves was a scathing indictment of their failure to face the reality.

Should We Raise Their Taxes?

Mitt Romney’s Fevered Dreams: #3

A Romney Adviser Flippantly Characterized Romney As “Shell Shocked” After His Historic Loss

Bloomborg Bidnesswuss

I’m not sayin’ the folks at Bloomberg Businessweek are a bunch of wusses— well, yes I am.
(If you want to see de Jesus, you must click it.)

Bloomborg Businessweek has been pushing their creative constraints lately, notably last week with their “It’s Global Warming, Stupid” cover, and again this week with their “Old Obama“ cover, here.

But if they were really free of their mainstream constraints, like for instance the fictional-centered, cyber publication Bloomborg Bidnesswuss is, they could crawl out on a creative limb and bust it up a tatt or two.

Whatever Barack Obama does in the next four years, whether it’s dying his hair orange, fixing the economy, gettin’ a couple neck tatts, or discovering another source of material energy— wouldn’t that be awesome?— we Americans are going to have to participate.

Now is a time for renewed optimism, but only if we put our optimism to work— on solving a whole slew of problems the past few generations have left in the wake of their, um, reckless abandon. Can we do this thing? Come on. Think it with me:

Yes We Can.

Mechanical inventions and the dissemination of knowledge are modifying civilization; certain economic adjustments and social changes are imperative if cultural disaster is to be avoided. This new and oncoming social order will not settle down complacently for a millennium.¹ The human race must become reconciled to a procession of changes, adjustments, and readjustments. Mankind is on the march toward a new and unrevealed planetary destiny.
—The Urantia Book

¹ That’s right— a “millennium” is a thousand years.

OH THANK GOD.

Michele Bachmann will still be flitting around Washington hot air space another 24 months, excreting her special kind of crazy like there’s no tomorrow.