Ahab McCain Lashes Himself To Moby Bush

Obama says that McCain is running for Bush’s third term. Sounds like a good campaign theme to me.

Israel Appeases Syria

Last week in a speech before Israel‘s parliament, The Knesset, George W. Bush implied that Barack Obama was a terraist appeaser for his willingness to talk to evil doers like Iran and Syria. His foreign policy clones, John McSame and his Svengali adviser, Joe LIEberman immediately piled on, citing Barack’s inexperience and naiveté. One has to wonder how they feel …

Holy Smokes! Billary Wins Kentucky

Proving the inventiveness of one her key demographics, white Appalachian males, Billary supporter and Darwin Award candidate, Roary M. Plosion, shows his contribution to Billary’s impending victory speech at the Democratic National Convention.

Billary Death Watch

UPDATED BELOW Slate has put up a new page that tracks Billary’s odds of winning ’08 the nomination, beginning with a generous estimate of 12%. (Someone from within their own campaign estimated it at only 10% last week.) One of the current theories as to why Billary is intent on destroying Obama’s rep is that if it doesn’t win them …

Seance Exclusive! Lee Atwater Says Clinton the Stronger Candidate

HOLLYWOOD, CA (C.U.News) The godfather of Republican dirty campaign tricks, Lee “Willy Horton” Atwater, revealed through one of the world’s most respected psychics today that Billary would be the stronger candidate against John McCain in the 2008 presidential election. In an exclusive interview granted to this reporter, the medium (who insisted on anonymity, and only after she was satisfied as …

Republican Dog Food

Citing the public’s “. . .deep seeded antipathy toward the president, the war, gas prices, the economy, foreclosures and, in some areas, the underlying cultural differences that continue to brand our party,” former Republican Party leader Rep. Tom Davis this week observed that “the Republican brand is in the trash can. . . if we were dog food, they would …