Things are tough. I’ve been wrestling with the depression that has set in over the Salman Rushdie news not to marry… again. Four bad marriages have apparently convinced him that marital bliss is just a myth. And to make matters worse, Ann Coulter‘s jaw is still no longer wired shut. I’m not depressed that she might have been suffering. I’m …
Bushes be dopin’ down at the White House, wiff what can only be called a laid-back casualness that defies the boundaries of political propriety. As Israel kicked a ground War in Gaza, the the bong tokin’ alcoholics got faded at the Southampton Dog Show as the terriers strutted dey stuff; Pickles loved the Bull Terrier, Babbs, the Rat, and George, …
The Canoga Park Frank Zappadan Celebratory Cotillion got down in their Zappa-gear on Zappadan by celebrating Mammilian Protrusions Wednesday…
THE WHITE DOG HOUSE — The annual revelation that a little black scottie dog runs the White House was again met with shock and anger by too few normal human beings. “Barney,” aka “Bushmaster,” was again portrayed as the driving force behind the White House Christmas celebration by a cloying gaggle of the Bush family, gathered around the fireplace.
“Merry Christmas” militant Ms. Betty Fiobles waits for local authorities. FAIRFAX WALMART — Betty Irene Fiobles of East Dour drove to the Fairfax Walmart in a snit of Christmassy cheer Wednesday, but that cheer was quickly and brutally put to death by a renegade Walmart greeter, who savaged her by blithely uttering, “Merry Holidays.” Fiobles snapped, shouting, “How dare you!” …
HANNITY AND OMAR FAUX — Bumtious blowhard Sean Hannity left Fox Chairman Roger Ailes‘ office Friday with his rodent tail lodged firmly between his legs after having been told he would be accepting a new liberal co-anchor replacement for milquetoast Alan Colmes. The replacement, Omar Mohammad Rafsanjani, a virtually unknown natural born American, got his start in the small farm …
The new “Vader” bullet-proof outfit keeps rogue face-shooters like Dick Cheney (left) shooting at birds; not you. (Click it.) PUKWANA SD — This time of year a lot of white men are out in the fields shooting each other— accidentally— and occasionally on purpose. John Derrick “Lucky” Shawtt, a Colorado outfitter who has made a small fortune selling bullet-proof fashion …
