There’s a “fake news” story being promulgated by us that claims the Palm Beach County Sheriff responded to a noise complaint for T-rump‘s trophy home* at Mar-a-Lago during Super Bowl weekend. After a few rounds of extreme vetting of the staff, the story is T-rump misplaced his solid gold remote for the flatscreen, and immediately assumed one of the staff must have stolen it. But supposedly getting ripped off is the way of life for TYRANTosaurus; a life so “tremendous,” translation: so luxuriously preposterous, it simply must be the envious desire of everyone else on the planet.
Steven Stolman
First came the 80-foot flagpole, the scale of which would usually be seen on a used car lot, well beyond the Town of Palm Beach’s tightly enforced zoning codes. Noncompliance fines were imposed and suits and countersuits ensued. Ultimately, a court-ordered mediation agreement allowed Trump to replace the flagpole with a shorter version in a different location, as well as requiring that he make a $100,000 donation to a veterans’ charity. A Washington Post investigation reported that the check came from his foundation.
Since then, there’s been a constant flurry of lawsuits regarding the flight path of aircraft going to and from Palm Beach International Airport in close proximity to Mar-a-Lago.
Yep. For two decades, T-rump has been fighting the county in court to stop Palm Beach International Airport traffic from flying over his private club. It has cost Palm Beach $600,000 dollars to defend itself from the 100 million dollar lawsuit waged by T-rump.
The lawsuit claimed that air traffic disrupted Mar-a-Lago’s “once serene and tranquil ambience,” and that “vibrations, noise, and soot” had damaged floors, roofs, and columns at the club.
T-rump argued that officials had concentrated more air traffic over Mar-a-Lago, in response to his lawsuit; you know, to persecute him. Very unfair, believe him.
Last year, in a ridiculous ruling, a so-called judge dismissed four of the six counts of his lawsuit, finding that it failed to show flyovers were too low, or that the county was responsible for the flight paths. Sad.
Right after the November election however, rump dropped the suit; maybe someone on his relentless legal team realized he was soon going to be the ipso facto head of the Transportation Safety Board, and could put the screws to Palm Beach County any way he wanted to.
Steven Stolman
Trump arrived in Palm Beach on the Tuesday evening before the holiday weekend, as usual, except this time the local airspace was restricted and roads were closed in anticipation of his motorcade. The valet parking lot of the adjacent Bath & Tennis Club, the one that shunned him when he sought membership, was overtaken by the Secret Service as a clearing station. Mar-a-Lago members had to present themselves there with valid identification. Cars were inspected—the whole mirrors under the chassis thing—and only then were they permitted to drive through the club’s service gates to proceed to the main entrance. All gates to the club were blocked by police cruisers, and the lawns were patrolled by men carrying automatic weapons. Coast Guard boats with visible guns cruised up and down the Intracoastal Waterway. America’s most patrician resort town resembled a city under siege.
Coming to a neighborhood near you soon. Because fear.
Don’t get used to it, folks.
- Normalized wretched excess
