Pirate Cap’n Rupert Sets Course For Hell

Arrrrghh… Git used ta drinkin’ arrrr tea, ya bloody blaggards!
Right to farrr right: Davey “Jones” Koch, Rupert “Marauder” Murdoch, Charles “Keelhauler” Koch

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Bill Maher

The next rich person who publicly complains about being vilified by the Obama administration must be publicly vilified by the Obama administration. It’s so hard for one person to tell another person what constitutes being “rich,” or what tax rate is “too much.”  But I’ve done some math that indicates that, considering the hole this country is in, if you are earning more than a million dollars a year and are complaining about a 3.6% tax increase, then you are by definition, a greedy asshole.

The evil cabal that is Fox and Friends— and I don’t mean those stupid sycophants Douchy, Carlson, and what’s-his-butt— I mean that scurvy old salt Cap’n Rupert Murdoch and his first mates, the Koch brothers, rapacious blaggards all;  and— by definition— greedy assholes.

“Rupert the Marauder,” as he is known all o’er the boundin’ main, was not always a freebootin’ dog.  He was born into his booty lode a treasure, as Poppa Murdoch was himself a notorious news magnate in the land down under.  Young Rupe sailed off to Oxford University where he dabbled in philosophy, politics, and piracy, and when Poppa went to Davey Jones‘ Locker, Rupert grabbed the helm of the SS Murdoch and never looked back.

Once young Rupert had a ship under him he got his sea legs amazingly fast by capturing moldy old Newspaper lubbers, and promptly sendin’ most of their crews to labour in the briny deep.  And when Rupert got the hang of directin’ the opinions of his new found minions, he set out upon the high seas of international finance and power.

Cap’ns of Industry, Rupert fuggin’Murdoch with Executive Officer Charles fuggin’ Koch;  our fuggin’ Plutocrat Overlords

Murdoch‘s Empire spans the media markets of the entire world.  He controls major print and television power around the world.  Between Murdoch and the Kochs, Charles and David, their chunk of the main makes them our plutocrat overlords.  The world of Rupert Murdoch is an oligarchy.

You have a saying that it is ‘easier for a camel to go through the
eye of a needle than for the heathen to inherit eternal life.’
And I declare that it is as easy for this camel to go through the needle’s eye
as for these self-satisfied rich ones to enter the kingdom of heaven.”
—Jesus

Rupert Murdoch has had private conversations with many world leaders.  And surprise, that includes every U.S. president since, and including, Harry F’n Truman.  How many of our past presidents have you had meetings with? Oh wait— you’re not rich— so none.  After the cordialities, I expect the conversations were short, and some variant of, “Looky, mate— I run this bloody planet, along with a few other multi-billionaires. Arrrgh. The sooner ya get that, the better. Ga’day.”

Fox Wench fuggin’Sarah serves Cap’n fuggin’ Charles her special blend of Insani Tea

Yes— These Colors Run—  Everything.

Jesus did not look with approval upon the refusal to employ force
to protect the majority. . . against the unfair and enslaving practices
of unjust minorities who may be able to entrench themselves
behind political, financial, or ecclesiastical power.
Shrewd, wicked, and designing men are not to be permitted
to organize themselves for the exploitation and oppression of those who,
because of their idealism, are not disposed to resort to force for self-protection. . .
—The Urantia Book

Forget what sweet ‘ole Cap’n Rupe says in Congressional hearings.
As long as he’s on his bridge and you’re just a scurvy swab on his ship,
you had better hold onto your butt, your wallet, and your civil liberties.

It’s fuggin’ CULTURE WAR, mates. And Cap’n Murdoch has ordered “Hard teh Starboard!”
Get ready— the feces is really going to hit the fan.

There was one economic abuse which Jesus many times condemned,
and that was the unfair exploitation of the weak, unlearned,
and less fortunate of men by their strong, keen, and more intelligent fellows.
Jesus declared that such inhuman treatment of men, women, and children
was incompatible with the ideals of the brotherhood of the kingdom of heaven.
—The Urantia Book