Beckasaurus Dasillyass

The Man with a plan— Beck uses Malia Obama as a human shield to protect himself from a red ripe invective hurled by an angry ex-fan, when he publicly mocked the child after declaring children of politicians “off-limits.”

I don’t listen to the radio much. There are too many opportunities to waste time listening to ignorant self-loathing right wing bloviators.  But I was kinda forced to listen to some blathering of Beckasaurus Dasillyass the other day while waiting for a prescription.

BECK: (imitating Malia) Daddy? Daddy? Daddy, did you plug the hole yet, Daddy?

PAT GRAY (co-host): (imitating Obama) No I didn’t, honey.

BECK: (imitating Malia) Daddy, I know you’re better than [unintelligible]

GRAY: (imitating Obama) Mm-hmm, big country.

BECK: (imitating Malia) And I was wondering if you’ve plugged that hole yet.

GRAY: (imitating Obama) Honey, not yet.

BECK: (imitating Malia) Why not, daddy? But daddy–

GRAY: (imitating Obama) Not time yet, honey. Hasn’t done enough damage.

BECK: (imitating Malia) Daddy?

GRAY: (imitating Obama) Not enough damage yet, honey.

BECK: (imitating Malia) Daddy?

GRAY: (imitating Obama) Yeah?

BECK: (imitating Malia) Why do you hate black people so much?

GRAY: (imitating Obama) I’m part white, honey.

BECK: (imitating Malia) What?

GRAY: (imitating Obama) What?

BECK: (imitating Malia) What’d you say?

GRAY: (imitating Obama) Excuse me?

BECK: (laughing) This is such a ridiculous — this is such a ridiculous thing that his daughter– (imitating Malia) Daddy?

GRAY: It’s so stupid.

BECK: How old is his daughter? Like, thirteen?

GRAY: Well, one of them’s, I think, thirteen, one’s eleven, or something.

BECK: “Did you plug the hole yet, daddy?” Is that’s their — that’s the level of their education, that they’re coming to — they’re coming to daddy and saying ‘Daddy, did you plug the hole yet?’ ” Plug the hole!

GRAY: (imitating Obama) Yes, I was doing some deep-sea diving yesterday, and–

BECK: (imitating Malia) Daddy?

GRAY: (imitating Obama) Yeah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, I was doing–

BECK: (imitating Malia) Why–

GRAY: (imitating Obama) Yeah, honey, I’m–

BECK: (imitating Malia) Why, why, why, why, do you still let the polar bears die? Daddy, why do you still let Sarah Palin destroy the environment? Why are — Daddy, why don’t you just put her in some sort of a camp?

Yeah.  This is a guy to whom God is giving “a plan.” A weak, doughy specimen of a creature who portends to give others advice about, of all things, truth.  And after whining about others attacking the children of politicians then turns around and attacks the children of the President.

The following radio transcript has been doctored to emphasize Beck’s neurosis.

BECK: Look, I have—  David, I have—  I have Van Jones— no— (purses lips) I have dozens of powerful angry muscular black men leading a boycott against me…
I have—  Jim Wallis— the racist president’s spiritual and political adviser— leading a boycott-type, manhunt-like boycott against me…
I have SEIU [Service Employees International Union] and Andy Stern— that horrible, horrible leftist monster— (purses lips, fights back against loss of emotional control) and a most frequent guest in the White House — working covertly against me…
I have— AFL-CIO boss Richard Trumka giving a speech at Harvard, saying we’re going to do something— do something— uh huh— uh huh— about this—this-this sissy-pants Glenn Beck wiener guy.
I mean, he’s [Weiner’s] just filth.  His assistant, recall, was a was a was a heavily-armed and sterrrroid fortified— steroid forrrtified PR director, I think, or or or or, the spokesperson for Media Matters, or something.

ASSMAN: Oh, yeah;  that’s just a coinky-dink, dontcha think?

BECK: I mean, you’ve got the same— you’ve got the same people!  And— and— an hour after he held this press conference, he had changed clothes, and was already at the White House.

ASSMAN: Is the “White House” (does air quotes) directing his attack against you, do you think?

BECK: I don’t know. I realllly don’t know.  Probably.  What am I saying!  Yes; of course they are.  This man, is, I think, a racist. And because I have exposed him as a racist, he is now trying to destroy me.

ASSMAN: Hm. Why do you think so?

BECK: Well, seeing that we already have three people already trying to—  directly relating with words to the president of the United States— I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch to think that this— this — Weiner guy might be going after me, too.

Beck then claimed the White House’s strategy is to take Fox personalities “out”  “one at a time,” and that he’s “next.”  He blathered on:

BECK: Polarize that individual and make that individual toxic.  Untouchable. That’s not coming after all of Fox, because that— (gestures emphatically at the blackboard)  wakes evvvvverybody up. No.  No, no… Do it small.  Take them out one.. at.. a..time;  imperceptibly;  like it wasn’t really happening at all.

I’m just the first. Just the first!  And if you take MEEEE out— thennnnnn what happens?!? (Poses like Christ on the Cross, nods knowingly)
Does [Bill] O’Reilly go?  Does Sean [Hannity] go?  Do you go?  Does does does Gretchen Carlson go?  Does Neil Cavuto go?  Does.. what’s her name, Megan Kelly go?
And once they clean this place out— (does a ten second figure-eight walk-around his studio area with arms out) thennnnnn who goes?!?
Is it Diane Sawyer?  Yes;  Is it [George] Stephanopoulos?? Yes;  Who is it?  Who’s next? Wasn’t that a great album?
I mean, it’s— it’s like— I mean—  What I’m saying is, I’ve never seen ANYTHING like it before.  Never. This, this—  the Nixon enemy list??  Please.  Oh please. This is NOTHING like that. This is TARGETING— and DESTROYING.  TARGETING— and DESTROYING. [America’s Nightly Sorebored, 5/24/10]

BECK: “[I]f you associate yourself at all with Glenn Beck, (points at his chest with chalk) Congress will come after you. On this radio program, we have a congressman— that’s right, a servant of the people— coming after this show and trying to discredit me,  (points at his chest repeatedly with chalk) and my sponsors, myyy home boys— and driving yet another big sticky wedgie, another silver or maybe even— (bites index finger knuckle) a gold stake, and of course trying to use FEAR—  if you dare associate yourself at all— (yells:)  AT ALL! with Glenn Beck— Congress will come after YOU.

That’s exactly what’s happening.  We We We; (exhales; looks at floor) Let me say— we already had the White House— look, I’ve had— (glances over shoulder) I’ve had sponsors that were on television with me, big sponsors, that said to me , they said to me, they said, “Glenn, we would follow you into the jaws of radical leftist death—  you know that— but.  We simply can’t handle the White House coming after us. …
I warn you, I warn them, I warn anyone within the sound of my voice—  you’re, you are— losing your soul in response. … I warn you, If you don’t stand up NOW, RIGHT NOW— go over to your window— open it up— stick your neck out— and yell:  “I stand with Glenn Beck!!” And yell it until you’re hoarse, or until the cops come and arrest you for disturbing your MSNBC neighbors— who called the cops on you— who’s going to be there when they come after you?”

Beck later said: “I hope to God Congress and this administration never disagree with you. You don’t stand up for me, who’s going to stand up when they target you?” [The Glenn Beck Program, 5/18/10]

Unkown HuffPo writer:

On O’Reilly, Beck suggests White House involved in conspiracy to “destroy” him. On Fox News’ The O’Reilly Factor, Beck again brought up Weiner’s investigation into Goldline, while eating a wiener sausage, and claimed that “[i]t’s weird” that Weiner was investigating Goldline because, he claimed, they were a reputable company. Beck added: “It’s almost like Weiner is going after something else.” Beck also mentioned that one of Weiner’s “main people … used to work for Media Matters, which is weird.” Host Bill O’Reilly later suggested Weiner may be “working with people in Congress or in the White House to try to destroy you,” and Beck suggested the criticism from the AFL-CIO, SEIU, Jim Wallis, and Van Jones were examples of the White House’s involvement in trying to “destroy” him:

The following radio transcript has been doctored to emphasize another of Beck’s neurosis.

O’REALLY: (Sounds exactly like Keith Olbermann imitating O’Reilly) But that’s why it’s not a joke! That’s why it’s not a joke! Not a joke!  Because if, Weiner — if Weiner is working with people in Congress, or in the White House to try to destroy you, then that’s not a joke, Beck.  Then I have to get involved and defend you.  Do I need to defend you?

BECK: Wait a minute. Hold it, hold it.  Hang on just a second. Wait.  Thank you.

O’REALLY: You’re welcome.

BECK: Here’s the thing.  So it wasn’t a joke when Jim Wallis, the evil spiritual and political adviser of racist President Barack Obama, is boycotting me.  Leading a manhunt-style boycott. Leading a —

O’REALLY: Nobody knows who he is, though. I sure as hell don’t, and I know everything a guy like me needs ta know.

BECK: (Moves a shoulder to add authority and weight to his invective) He is an evil evil spiritual and political adviser to the—

O’REALLY: Yeah, but nobody knows’m.  Nobody cares.  I sure as hell don’t care.  And if a guy like me don’t care, nobody does.

BECK: (Breathlessly and epheminately)  He’s meeting with the president. Then you have Andy Stern, SEIU.

O’REALLY: Yeah. . .

BECK: SEIU leading a boycott, trying to put ME out of business. Huh. Me. (Rubs his head like Mo Shemp) There’s two people that are targets of mine. (Holds up three fingers) Van Jones, his organization also leading a manhunt-boycott.  And probably dozens of powerful, angry black men, some.. some.. I mean some with glistening muscular—

O’REALLY: Okay, okay, just calm down. Just sit down.

BECK: I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. Now, where was I?  (Stares at chalkboard for 27 seconds) Oh… You also have AFL-CIO president of — what’s his name, Trampka, Troompka?  Trumka Trumpka — coming out of nowhere and saying, “We’re going to do something about this, this, the Beck problem.”  Reallllly? (Gives O’Really the horse eye, then gives the camera the horse eye)

And now it’s a Weiner. (Draws an imaginary wiener in the air) Please please please call me to testify, please?  Please. I will be so respectful. I won’t say anything about wieners, hot dogs, franks, or sausages. Or the man-piece. None of that.

O’REILLY: (Shakes his head) Look. Of all those people— of all those people, Wiener — Weiner?  This Weiner guy is the one you should take seriously.  The others are, ya know— they’re nobody. [The O’Reilly Factor, 5/21/10]

This man, Beck, is, I think, a domestic terrorist.
Do we really have to wait before some biped masquerading as a human with the I.Q. of a can opener kills someone Beck has dreamed out loud of strangling, before we get him off our public airwaves?  Seriously?  Grow a pair, America.