A pilot named Karl (not his real name) is circulating a devastating email on teh internets titled A pilots [sic] perspective on Obama, that should wake up LIBERALS and Rebublicans too, or any other label you care to use to describe people swept up in their own personal feelings of hope and unity. The letter should scare the living shit out of them. Oh, not for supporting Barack HUSSIEIN OBAMASAMA BIN LODIN. But because there are Americans who believe this kind of Rovian garbage, and they know where the poles are. Here it is, with a special commentary by Karla, (not her real name), Karl’s eviler twin:
PILOT Karl: ,,,,,,,,,,DO I HAVE THIS STRAIGHT?
KARL’S EVIL TWIN, KARLA (not her real name): How should I know?
HIS FATHER WAS A BLACK AFRICAN MUSLIM FROM
KENYA.
Strike one.
WE HAVE SEEN PICTURES OF HIS AFRICAN FAMILY.
Strike two. . .
HIS MOTHER WAS A WHITE AMERICAN ATHEIST FROM
KANSAS.
Strike three! My God! An ATHEIST!! And white! And from KANSAS! And a MOTHER! (They go to hell too, don’t they? I mean there’s no exemption for them for their not believing in God, is there? God will make bipedal marshmillows out of you stupid atheists, white or not, mothers or not, and roast your sorry asses in hell!
WHERE ARE THE PICTURES OF HIS AMERICAN FAMILY?
Strike four!! Anybody who can afford to be born in Kansas but live in Hawaii, where middle class white people can only afford to visit once in their lifetime, can certainly afford at least one photo album! And a camera! All white people have cameras, don’t meseginistic– mesigenestical– don’t black and white people have cameras?? Do you expect anyone to believe you couldn’t afford it?
HIS FATHER DESERTED HIS MOTHER WHEN HE WAS ONLY TWO YEARS OLD AND WENT BACK TO AFRICA BY WAY OF HARVARD UNIVERSITY. HOW? WAS HIS FATHER WEALTHY?
Strike five!!! A black man with money! And a bad marriage! And a great ivy-league education! How is that not uppity?? Is it just me?!
HIS MOTHER MARRIED AN INDONESIAN MUSLIM AND THEN MOVED TO JAKARTA WHERE HE WAS ENROLLED IN A MUSLIM SCHOOL.
Dirty INDONESIANS! Dirty JAKARTANS! Dirty MUSLIMS! Dirty MUSLIM school! Full of dirty, enrolled, Muslim children! Dirty Dirty Dirty! How much did it cost?! How did they pay for this enrollment!? Is that a Muslim thing? And How could they afford to move?
Maybe they were actually fleeing to the Muslim world! Was there something wrong with our Christian nation full of Christians, that they had to flee?? And now there’s dirty Muslims here! Seven million of them! And Papist Cat-lickers! And Jews! And frakkin’ Buddhists!! And let’s not forget them Atheists, y’all! Buddhists are just atheists in robes, anyway!
WHEN HE REACHED HIGH SCHOOL AGE HIS MOTHER SENT HIM
TO HAWAII TO BE WITH HIS WHITE GRANDPARENTS AND HE
WAS PUT INTO AN EXPENSIVE PRIVATE SCHOOL. HE LATER WENT TO HARVARD UNIVERSITY. HOW? WERE HIS GRANDPARENTS RICH?
How many times do we have to ask you where you got money for stuff?!? It’s a simple question that enquirer minds want to know! RRRRR, UUUUUU, RIIIITCHT?? And where did you steal the money?
And Richt people should know too, so they can figure out how it happened and prevent it from happening again!
HE LIVES IN A $1.4 MILLION HOUSE OBTAINED THROUGH A DEAL WITH A WEALTHY FUNDRAISER. HOW?
How can educated black people by a house?? HOW? HOW? John McCain has thirteen houses, but he can afford them because he is was a POW. But where does a black man get money on the-up-and-up?
HE ‘WORKED’ AS A CIVIL RIGHTS ACTIVIST IN CHICAGO. HE HAS NEVER HELD A PRODUCTIVE JOB OR RECEIVED A PAY CHECK THAT WAS NOT GOVERNMENT-FUNDED AND/OR TAYPAYER SUPPORTED.
Another shiftless, “never-held-a- PRODUCTIVE job” black activist lawyer, just a law school professor-job that America paid to learn him educate him so that the governmint could then pay him to teach other people about our Constitution! The F*n’ gall!
And don’t even try to tell Americans that writing a couple books is a “productive job”! Books are for elitist eggheads! And now he wants another guvernmint job, where all the American people are not only forced to pay his salary, but his room and board, too!
How is that not uppity?!? Anyone?!? Why am I alone on this?
THE PRESIDENCY IS NOT A CIVIL RIGHTS POSITION, NOR IS IT
SUBJECT TO AFFIRMATIVE ACTION SET ASIDES; ON-THE-JOB
TRAINING WON’T CUT IT.
Abso-frukkin’-loot-ly! Dick Bush ring a bell?! Look what they brought to the game! Want a 9-11 terrorist attack on YOUR WATCH?!? WE sure don’t!! Just because you know the Constitution, which is just a piece of paper I’ve heard, doesn’t mean you can use your understanding of American’s civil rights to protect the American people as our president! Dick Bush ring a bell?! It’s a FOUR LETTER WORD: F.I.S.A.!
How could any fair, white, non-Muslim person expect that only EIGHT consecutive YEARS of Republican governance and leadership could clean up after what Clinton the Clintons, the “first black president,” Ahem, did with that Monica-groupie thing.
We need More Dick Bush, NOT LESS. That’s where John McCain comes in. He would not ask any of these sorts of questions himself, because he’s a he’s been a POW. And he doesn’t deserve to be questioned on it either, because he doesn’t like to talk about it or even bring it up. Other people are making all those commercials about his amazing prisonerish credentials. He’s already been questioned quite enough by the Viet Kong. Amen.
HE ENTERED POLITICS AT THE STATE LEVEL AND THEN THE
NATIONAL LEVEL WHERE HE HAS MINIMAL EXPERIENCE.
(Who are we talking about? Lincoln?) Oh right: Barack HUSSEIN OSAMABAMA.
HE IS PROUD OF HIS ‘AFRICAN HERITAGE’ (A FATHER WHO GOT
A WHITE GIRL PREGNANT AND DESERTED HER).
A BLACK MAN GOT A WHITE WOMAN PREGGERS! How classic is that! Does he think he’s Sidney Hussein Porteyay? Wasn’t one of them a goat farmer, too? Is there enough money in goats to be proud about it??
WHERE IS THE PRIDE IN HIS ‘WHITE HERITAGE’? (A MOTHER
WHO FLAUNTED CONVENTION AND DID NOT BELIEVE IN GOD).
“Flaunted”! Flaunted”! “Flaunted” belief in God!!
(Don’t you just love saying “flaunted”? I do; it’s almost like you’re going to say, “flogged” but you don’t.) Try this: A MOTHER WHO FLOGGED CONVENTION AND DID NOT BELIEVE IN GOD!! That sounds worse, doesn’t it? HA! ARE you listening, atheists? Agnostic punks!?! ALL Other people!?!
SOME MIGHT THINK THERE WAS NOT MUCH TO BE PROUD OF
EITHER WAY.
Strike six! How could this kind of flaunted heritage produce a president??
HE BELONGS, AND HAS BELONGED FOR OVER 20 YEARS, TO AN
‘AFRO-CENTRIC’ CHURCH IN CHICAGO THAT HATES WHITES,
HATES JEWS, AND BLAMES AMERICA FOR ALL THE WORLD’S
PERCEIVED FAULTS. (INCLUDING CREATING THE AIDs VIRUS
IN ORDER TO INFLICT IT ON AFRICANS).
AFRO-CENTRIC! BLAMES AMERICA! HATES WHITES! HATES JEWS! HATES MUSLIMS!
EATS BREATHS AND SLEEPS HATE!!
[What!? They don’t hate Muslims? Christians who hate Americans, and Jews, but not Muslims?? How can they hate Jews, and Whites, and not hate the Muslims? Is this a hate oversight, Karl?? WE’RE CHRISTIANS, AND WE hate all Muslims, right?? Terrorists = Muslims? Muslims = Terrorists? ]
(What? “Not everyone in America is white”?? So what? If we white Christians can learn to hate Muslims then so can the black Christians.)
HE REPEATEDLY WHITEWASHES THE PASTOR, HIS CHURCH AND
THE MEMBERS WHO CHEERED AFTER HEARING VITRIOLIC TIRADES AGAINST AMERICA.
Tirades!! Tirades!! Whitewashing! A black man whitewashing a black pastor! That just ain’t right!
HE COULD NOT CONFRONT HIS PASTOR BUT HE WANTS US TO
BELIEVE HE CAN CONFRONT NORTH KOREA AND IRAN ?
YEAH RIGHT ! !
Right! Confront them with talk! Mr. Ne-goat-sheate-shun! The only thing they understand is nuke-yular death, and American cigarettes! (ShitDamn; that idiot Dick Bush took North Korea off the evil nation list.)
(I’ll bet we could sell those assholes toilet paper, too; we make the best damned toilet paper in the world! They’d be wipin their dyin’ lung-cancer filled asses with the best toilet paper their oil money can buy!)
(Well, it sounded good when I thought of it; but you’re right; great toilet paper never hurt anybody.)
DURING HIS VERY BRIEF TIME IN THE UNITED STATES SENATE
HE HAS MANAGED TO AMASS THE NUMBER ONE ULTRA LIBERAL
VOTING RECORD OUT OF THE ONE HUNDRED MEMBERS.
Damn! That’s gross! “ULTRA” Liberal!! AMASSED A VOTING RECORD!
HE HAS VOTED CONSISTENTLY FOR BIGGER GOVERNMENT AND
HIGHER TAXES. HE HAS VOTED FOR BIG ENTITLEMENTS AND
LEGISLATION THAT WOULD SEVERELY CURTAIL AMERICA’S
ABILITY TO FIGHT TERRORISM AND TO PROTECT OUR BORDERS
AND OUR NATIONAL INTERESTS AROUND THE WORLD.
Read my lips: “CONSISTENTLY”!
SEVERELY CURTAILED OUR ABILITY! ! WE can no longer protect our BORDERS and, our NATIONAL INTERESTS AROUND THE WORLD! HE CURTAILED AMERICA. And shouldn’t that be punishable by death in a free and open society?
BUT, HE IS A GOOD ORATOR. ISN’T THAT A COMFORT?
What? Is it? You mean that restore “HOPE” and American Unity Bullshit?
YEAH, I THINK I SEE HOW WELL HE COULD UNITE THE
COUNTRY.
What?? You do??
I THINK THE TRUTH IS THAT HE HOPES NO ONE WILL PUT THE
PIECES TOGETHER.
And that we will fail! I get it. He “hopes” America will fail to pick up the pieces! From the last eight years; those pieces.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO OUR NEW
CHIEF PILOT.HE HAS NEVER FLOWN AN AIRPLANE, IN FACT HE
HAS NEVER EVEN SAT IN THE COCKPIT, BUT HE SAYS HE HAS
RIDDEN ON PLANES BEFORE. WE ARE SURE HE WILL GUIDE US
SAFELY THROUGH THE STORMS WE MAY ENCOUNTER ON THIS
FLIGHT.
I suppose he stayed at a Holiday INN Express last night, too.
(But wouldn’t the president be a president in the analogy, too? I mean like, instead of just an ordinary pilot? I’m just sayin’.)
PEOPLE WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD THE
STORY ABOUT THE WOLF HIDING IN SHEEP’S CLOTHING SO HE
CAN DESTROY THEM FROM WITH-IN ? THE HAND WRITING IS
ON THE WALL, DO YOU NOT HAVE EYES TO SEE IT?
Shit! We just painted over the Obama graffitti on that furkkin’ wall! Yes I know the story of the transvestite don’t ask-don’t tell Gay Wolf in sheepskin! But doesn’t he jump out of it at the final moment and bite your throat or something? What’s the “with-in” thing?? Like Communism? We will destroy your insides?
THINK LONG AND HARD BEFORE YOU VOTE FOR THIS GUY! CONSIDER
YOUR KIDS & GRANDKIDS
Long and hard! Long and Hard! Think! Think! ! Think! ! ! Yeehaw! Think! Think! ! Think! ! !
THEIR FUTURE IS IN OUR VOTING HANDS.
Our voting hands!! All voting hands on deck to vote! If this story doesn’t scare the shit right outa your liberal elitist American Democratic progressive left behind, then you need to really listen to what John McCain has to say!
The man is a political genius! Just today, he pointed out that Iran is on the verge of smoking themselves to death! And the irony is on us!— They’re importing our cigarettes!
They are paying! US! to! KILL! THEM! WITH! CAMELS!! The tobacco companies are a new secret weapon that will REALLY DESTROY THEM FROM WITHIN!
BWWAA HAAAA HAAA HAA HAAAA!!
