ZAPPADAN -

Zappadan 2012’s official Yellow Shark Floating Wreath; shark wreath not included.

Hi boys and girls, today is the beginning of Zappadan, an informal esoteric festival celebrating the importance of small electrical appliances, icing anointment utensils, cream cheese, roto plukers, and the discography of Frank Zappa in our short but intense lives here on this tiny little world currently hustling through the weasel dust of time and space.

Many of you have realized, at last, that imaginary guitar notes, and imaginary vocals, exist only in the imagination of the imaginer… and ultimately, who gives a fuck, anyway…

Excuse me. We do. So. We go back to our ugly little rooms, and quietly dream about the last, guitar solo, and know it’s time to cue up some Watermelon In Easter Hay.

As you can see, music can get you pretty fucked up; take a tip from Joe; do like he did; hug your imaginary guitar, and get a good job; Joe did, and he’s a “happy guy,” now. . . on the day shift, at the utility muffin research kitchen; where he arrogantly twists the canvas snoot of a fully-charged icing anointment utensil, and every time a. . . well. You know the rest.

So sit back with a tall WP&LJ, and get the holiday off right by searching “Zappadan” in our archives; you’ll be glad you did.